So desperate to talk to somepony

 I just have the overwhelming urge just to talk to another pony. Anypony to be exact. I don't mean to really  just to talk or well in this case type. I just need to talk some pony. I really wish i could make some good friends here. There are few good friends. I just wish i could just talk to fellow kin well I guess I already just wish I could relate more.Sometimes I worry that I will mess up and drive them way. I really suck at this. 

More memories

 Had a bit more of memory pop up from when i destroyed my mom's tower. Well there were 5 of us alicorns there 4 sisters and 1 brother. Sunset, me , Cadance, Dawn Light, and Emerald Night.Light didn't want to get into trouble and just watched us. Sunny had learned a new spell she had wanted to show us. Em, me and Caddy tried the new magic. Sunny was showing off that could use the offensive spell with ease by blowing up small boulders and not wanting feel out left we joined her. After while Sunny and i got into a contest of who could destroy the largest boulders. That's part where missed and hit moms tower blowing it up. We all knew how much trouble we were in so we decided to try and keep it a secret. Didn't last long cause Light confessed and the rest kind went downhill from there. Mom had in her room looking down at me with that kind look that moms have. She knew i had did it though i kept saying I wasn't there and that i was over friends house. She then asked which friend and I couldn't think of what to say. Eventually then truth came out which lead to another line questions who taught you that spell. We all cracked and revealed it was Sunny which lead to all of us being grounded. Besides that my sister Light was always the quite one while Sunny was a trailblazer. Back then she could be a bit arrogant and even stubborn hell we were all stubborn in our own way. I just remember one she wasn't there and no pony knew where she was and mom wouldn't tell me where she was. That really hit me hard.  She and I always had a friendly rivalry as sisters though in my neck of woods she my paternal twin sister along with Caddy.  We just sort drifted apart a little bit. Sunny was the glue that kept us all together. We each sort us went our own ways along having different spheres of friends. Still love one another. Who knows how things would have turned out if Sunny had stayed.(edited)

[1:36 PM]

One last thing me being taught magic by great mother was a choice I made which took me away from my family for 7 years in Equestrian time. It had been a year after getting my cutie mark. She ended sending me to different parts of the fae realms and other places to solve problems. In those places i learned about different magic and technologies. Some even took me far into the past and some into the distant future. It was hard road till one day i came home. A lot of happy faces along with reconnecting with friends I had. I had changed a bit. Mom had me promise that i wouldn't show any pony the books i had wrote or the inventions I had created. The way she had said it could have dire effects on Equestria's natural evolution of magic. Over the years i found loop holes that i could help my friends in subtle ways with my tech. An example would be everything that Equestria took as sold fact was wrong in so many ways. Like unicorns couldn't become as powerful as Starlight or the portals that many used were extremely primitive compared to other places.That some magics that were dead ends in equestria had whole branching trees of research of their own

Also one final thing I kept Communication devices with my friends from home throughout my journey. I kept in constant contact with them. I don’t think I could’ve made it through everything I’ve been through without them. Because I knew them since I was a filly.

Sunny Diamond

 Sunny Diamond one of my best friends growing up. Used to have sleepovers at her parents house in canterlot's south side a small stream flowed by her house. She was always telling me to be patient and i would get my cutie mark. That's the conversation we were having on that day. I can remember how she got her cutie mark we were playing around with clouds that day seeing if we could make funny shapes with them and laughing. She made this one cloud it really looked really cool and she got her mark. She was so excited and I was extremely happy for my friend. She was very understanding and a good friend. She got a job at the weather factory molding clouds. Every cloud has her signature touch to it. Eventually she made supervisor and was charge of whole department. After work the both of us would meet at a local donut shop where we would unwind from a long day and just chat. I would always make the time to go visit when i didn't have work. Just as she would make the time as well.

Cutie marks and rediscovering an old friend

 I agree with you. With mine is a heart with 3 stars and wings coming out of it. I just know I was a late bloomer and tried lot of advanced magic which got me into a lot trouble. I was coming home from a friends house i had slept over her name was Sunny Diamond and we were crossing the old stone bridge in canterlot. I heard crumbling sound and I didn't think I just took flight and flew under the bridge. Saw it was falling apart and I just used my magic to hold up the the whole bridge. I can remember the pain in both my wings and horn. My friend had flown down and i told her to get everypony off the bridge. I also remember some sort of booming sound and being given huge in flux of magic. It felt really good like I could do anything. Then I woke up in a hospital bed from the image i could see somepony sitting in a chair at the end of my bed.I felt so weak and tired. For me I tend to follow my heart. I love learning about magic and how its tied to the land. Also flying everything about the freedom of being able to go where ever you please. Feeling the wind as it passes over your wings just feels really good. For me my cutie mark it an an extension of myself as I see it as for meaning I think its hope and change.

Harmony Wave

 Its when you try to combine source energy with the tree of harmony. The idea behind it was to try to strengthen the the tree. Though it had rather unexpected side effect that effected everyone of the pony race with immortality,healing wounds and restoring anything lost to the body ie legs ect. It was one of my major screw ups as it was my idea. Twi and Starlight helped along with the other elements. It did have its desired effect of strengthening the tree just the wave wasn't really expected to happen but with heavy cost. While it gave somepony infinite life you could still die if say you fell off a cliff.

Immortality effects the time you have in the world as you can still get sick or break a leg. I learned about source energy from great mother and the magic around it. Along with engineering aspects that go along with it. There were many teachers in the sanctuary that taught in many ways. Most taught in the way of sharing their experiences from their own perspective. In a sense you live through their own experiences. Most what i learned came from them at the direction of GM.(edited)

Visit from family and inventions recalled

 I had dream visit from Caddy and Shinning. It was really good to see them again and this time i could literally feel the magic in the air. Felt like I was in equestria for a short time. Also remembered an invention of mine called Continuous Runes. Most other runes over time lose their charge. I created a tool infused with a small amount of source energy that aloud the one making the rune to infuse the rune with source magic thus allowing it never to be recharged again. To undo it just simply apply the same tool and it remove the energy thus removing the rune magic itself.

Foolish

 Also recalled a memory that I'm to keen to remember. One of the most stupid things I could have done. As Tirek was approaching Canterlot I decided to try to take him on by myself. I don't know where Twi was. I just thought i could take him on. I had the training to do it. Truth to be told I was out of my league so I did something equally reckless I used the same spell I would normally get source energy to power my inventions with except here. I opened myself up to the whole thing except i couldn't control it my whole body hurt just trying to control the spell and my horn hurt so much. I was trying charge up the spell. Trying hope the parasite would notice and take my magic with the spell. He didn't take the bate and hit me fist first into the ground. I barely had enough time to throw up a shield even then he kept punching the shield till I blacked out. Later I woke I was with the girls I barely had enough magic to heal myself. I felt so weak even when we all used the rainbow laser on him. I was still very weak and could barely stay wake. Just remember passing out.

Intro

 Name: Radiant Dawn/ Ko'onthra

Age: 44

Gender: she/her

Kin-types: Pony, Alicorn, soul shared the rest Kitsune,fairy, Centaur, Elf, mermaid

Explanation: Up to this point in my life I've just come accept who and what i am. I've had numerous spirit visits from my mates and friends from home. Soul sharing which i had explained to me via a dream visit from a fairy i know. She explained as a sharing of energy. Also it gives the ability to shift to form of your mate. It would be as if you were born of that race also creates a family bond with their family becoming yours.Example your mate's sister becomes your sister. I'm Alicorn from Equestria. It's just who and what i am.

Experiences: I've become something of a psychic medium though not as powerful as most only able to communicate with  those i have a connection to on the spirit plane. I've been awake for 7 years. When i first started out I thought i was just a unicorn which after this long journey I've remembered that I'm from Equestria. I'm a Alicorn .I've just come to accept that is who I am and moved on with my life. As for being Kitsune I had a spirit visit with my mate who i soul shared with. Thus I'm part kitsune because of that and she in turn is part alicorn. The same goes for the rest of my mates. I've had dream visits from my children from home.

Ideas

 Had few ideas about that in regards to the fall of Equestria  and trying to stop the loss of said magic. Just some ideas i had.  Idea one would be instead of having one council of friendship have multiple councils spread around equestria with having their own sector. A minister of friendship would have to be assigned to draw up report and let Twilight know whats going on also his or her duties would be communicating Twi's order to the other councils. A copy of the map would be provided to each guildhall. Each map would be connected to the tree of harmony. Idea 2 would be a book of friendship using the crystal tech i know which is pure technology just more advanced. The idea behind it is everyone would add their own friendship stories to the book.To the point it would be at some point it would be installed into a time capsule as it could provide some guidance. Said book would be protected from the ravages of time by using time to create a bubble of sorts. Also one could put all the collected works of Equestria into the vault.Said vault would have a harmonic lock on it. The key would be the friendships of each race with each other. As the key crystal would detect the vibration frequency given off by harmony among the friends. As for the loss of magic one would need a tool to follow the trace amounts of magic to the blockage then figure out a way of restoring it. Extreme case would be to funnel magic from another plane of existence via a conduit to the magical leylines of the effected realm also making sure both magic types vibrate at the same frequency if necessary using a converter to make the perfect match.

Iron Hoof

 I got to travel home briefly because earth pony let me see through his eyes.I was physically there. There is an old trade road the leads to equetria and I was 300 miles away from it.Its a boarder town There was a lady who allowed me to send a message though was more a code phrase it was" I am a student of Princess Celestia" I also got see his memories too. The earth ponies name is Iron Hoof a royal guard. I was able to resist the pull of this stupid body of mine for a time then i was dragged back here

Iron Hoof is both friend and father figure from back home.

Strawberry

 While eating some strawberries the other day I remembered my friend Strawberry Fields. She always had the best strawberries and Strawberry jam. She is an earth pony mare with a farm just to the far right of Applejack's farm. She also used to give my brother free strawberries.(edited)

2

Family Reunions

My grandson spirit visited me this morning by knocking over the tv remote. Telepathically he very upset that I would be angry with him and I told him to calm down. To take a deep breath in which he did. Went back to sleep and was visited by my daughter Raine she was wearing a very stylish short dress and she had blue florent hair. We were talking for like a little while when i suggested we could go back the physical plane as time passed differently here. I've spent the morning with her which really uplifted my mood a whole lot. She living in the same city as my little sister Narella. Natellia often watches over me here in this life

Happy Reunion

 Had a memory pop in recently. Its about when Aunt Luna finally went home. She had just opened the door to the central parlor to the royal apartments when Caddy, Dawn Light, and Emerald suddenly stopped what they were doing. The shock on their faces was apparent. Caddy exclaimed "Auntie Lu!! and Light and Emerald  exclaimed " MOM!". All Three practically knocked over Auntie Lu hugging her and crying.

Contradictions

 I've really had it with humanity. The usa and the christians support Israel even though that same country does have the right to exist what it doesn't have right do is harm other people. Besides all that dealing with backstabbers and human family that you make 2 mistakes and they jump down your throat. When life is I'm never coming back to this world ever and humanity can go F themselves as far as I'm concerned they are a complete waste of time and space. They going to destroy themselves at some point I say let them. Weather they sink or swim I don't really care anymore. I don't trust humans here in this world. 

Remembering

 I just remembered something when I used to live in Canterlot and Cloudsdale with both my adoptive families. When I was in Canterlot as a filly mom told me I could go anywhere in the city but there off limit places i couldn't go. Like the upper city or leave the city limits. She would always know where i am because of tracking spell. I would never want to see that disproving look from her. When I was in Cloudsdale for flightcamp I had stay within the neighborhood. Both families are my families and I love them all. They were the active parents in my life. My birth would make the effort when she had the time my father was all duty and I hardly ever knew him. Every time I would go to the unicorn sactaury or the fae wood as the herd often move between them. I would be visiting my family there. He broke several promises to me when I was a filly and I used to cry myself to sleep when I was there. Often longing to go back home to be with my loving families.

Philomena

 I have a some very fond memories of my mom's companion Philomena. That Phoenix was both a good friend and pain in the flank. Often times she would keep watch over me and my siblings and would let mom know if we up to something. There was even a time when she used to tickle Emerald to the point of him begging for her to stop. She can a real punk when she wants to be.

Visits from friends

 Had another dream visit from Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, and Twilight though for some odd reason i ran away from them for some reason. When I came back asked some person where they were and I missed being able to talk to them. I cried in dream. Within the that same dream i had a memory. Something had happened between Rarity and me. I was heart broken so I ran into apple Jacks old barn in her back lot. Ran around a hay bale,created a shield but i made so no pony could see me and I cried . Twilight was able to get past my shield and was there when i needed her. Turned out to be a misunderstanding though i believe it was the first time I told rarity of my feelings for her. I another dream visit Twilight visited me with a few friends but then I felt they were in danger so i teleported them all to safety. I felt sad that couldn't at least be able to have just some time with them as they really can't visit me all the time.

Machines for Rares

 I remembered two machine I made for Rares and the cutie mark crusaders. The machine for Rares was a full walk in booth where a pony would enter and be scanned for their measurements. Also part of the machine could replicate any dress Rares had designs for allowing her to make multiple copies. It could also take the measurements and apply them to the dress saving Rares time. Before I left Rares had three of these machines in her stores. It also could display a dress in a holographic picture allowing Rares to customize on the fly. As for the CMC  the machines are small pendant designed to help them help ponies find their cutie marks. The crystals scan the ponies vibration and provide a list of possibilities in holographic form for the cmc to decide on what to try.  I suppose i could have designed to help stream line the process though my intension was to help and not all the fun out it for them. Rares often remarked that the pendants were very stylish and I know that Sweetie loved her pendant.(edited)

The Mer

 Just learned the name of the mermaid race that is part of family and my that i soul shared with. The name of their people is call the Ceena.My seven daughters are of that race..Don't know where they are now though it seemed we could both walk on land and in sea. Freely change our legs into tails. Breathing water felt smooth and natural. Their capital existed over 156,000 years ago.

Machines for Rares

 I remembered two machine I made for Rares and the cutie mark crusaders. The machine for Rares was a full walk in booth where a pony would enter and be scanned for their measurements. Also part of the machine could replicate any dress Rares had designs for allowing her to make multiple copies. It could also take the measurements and apply them to the dress saving Rares time. Before I left Rares had three of these machines in her stores. It also could display a dress in a holographic picture allowing Rares to customize on the fly. As for the CMC  the machines are small pendant designed to help them help ponies find their cutie marks. The crystals scan the ponies vibration and provide a list of possibilities in holographic form for the cmc to decide on what to try.  I suppose i could have designed to help stream line the process though my intension was to help and not all the fun out it for them. Rares often remarked that the pendants were very stylish and I know that Sweetie loved her pendant