Unicorn

Just remembered something when my friends went to the Grand Galloping Gala I wasn't there cause i had to get my brother out of another mess he got himself into. He did something to anger some really powerful people and I managed to get him out of it. I think he went off to try and save some unicorn ponies who were enslaved only to be caught himself. I set the ponies free and got my brother out of the mess he was in. Even though the ponies there thought of me as a savior I still wasn't much of a friend. Its just another regret i have. I know for fact i would still have gone to save those unicorn ponies. They had curved horns.

Teleporting

 When teleporting anywhere you just need to focus your will on the target destination. How I did it back home was I would think of my home or the place I wanted to go. Focus on that place and pof i would be there. Though of course there is alot to teleporting it's all about the focal point ie the target place you want to go to and charging up the right amount of magic for the spell. Constant practice its what let's you get to any place and always start small. Baby steps.

Wonder Bolt

 I remember in the reserves operated on a merit based system. The more merits one has the more responsibilities one gets. Merits would be given to those that showed leadership skills and would often be given a rank in the reserves. There was also tier system too. There was an idea that I floated to Spit Fire. The idea was to create more teams though i really never got around to telling her. Also my nick name is "Hard Luck" as I made really big mistake and I was very hard on myself. The mistake was I overestimated the distance to the landing area and plowed head first into Spits. I knew her before she was a wonder bolt and she never let me forget that mistake too though it was humor based. I also remember Dash didn't want to be a leader of anything once she made the team, Spits wanted to give her more responsibility thus made her commander of the reserves. In charge of the training,feeding and recruitment. Special cases were to be sent my way for additional training. As the general rule is there is no wash outs.

Incarnated

 I've incarnated here 3 times. This is the third time around and I'm here bring my brother home. The first one was cause Great Mother asked us too . Second was with a sister of mine and we wanted to see something. I'm so tired of this world and dealing with two faced people.

Defend one friend lose another

 I defended one friend today on a rp site and lost 3 or 4 friends. Though the more I think about it the other three were never really friends as they never acted like it. Being here in this world people use a button to make a friend and yet these people arn't friends at all. I go by actions. If you have time for me then i have time for you. Treat me with respect and I will show you the same.

Sunsets of Rhode Island

 

A visit with a lover

 Just a little while ago i was able to spirit visit Rares at the nexus a hub between worlds. She was crying and I just wanted to stay with her. At the same time I was trying to remain focused as if i lost focus i would have been brought back here. I gave her some my magic and she in turn gave me some of hers. When I was there i wanted to cry but if  I did i would have lost focus and I was fighting with all might to stay there with her. Great Mother and many others helped make it possible.Green Leaf also made it possible and without her i would be lost. 

descriptions of great mother and Hard lessons

She is a black Alicorn though sometimes presents herself as a pure black unicorn. She is like mother and a teacher. She teaches by actions  as well as words. She exists in all times and places. She shift her focus to everyone of those selves. She is the leader of the unicorns of the sanctuary and all those who dwell within. She has taught me through action and sending to places where leadership was needed and in so doing showed me i could be a leader. Even though i doubt myself all the time. From those places i helped I came away with family and friends. From those lesson I hope maybe one when I'm ready, I to will lead my people even though i don't want that kind of responsibility. Mistakes of real dire consequences can be made by ones actions or in action. I've learned from her that being a leader is not easy in fact its hard

Sun Control

solar harmonization matrix is a large harmonic crystal that stands as big as a person whose sole function is to contain an out of control solar react. Its does this by stabilizing  the vibration of the star and absorbing the heavy elements within the star. It takes these elements and converts them into energy it needs to run. Thus its function is to control the star. Stars like everything else in the universe vibrate at their own frequencies and know how to control said frequencies allows one to do almost anything as nothing is impossible.

One of my good friends

Amethyst Flare one of my good friends from home. She could always see the good in others and would stick up for her friends. She may not one those ponies who throws themselves into danger but she is one the most bravest ponies i know. She inspires me to be better than myself.

memories

Had another flashback I was in a mall with Sunny and Starlight. Well they had just to the small as i was waiting for them. Prior to that i was staying at sunny's place as I was visiting for the week. So when this whole magic nonsense happened i was there for when it happened with an enchanted mirror that could effectively store everyone vibrations in pocket reality sort like how a containment shere works. Some idiot was using it like a toy and then got corrupted by it. It finally took Starlight get through to the girl while i was able to change the polarity of the mirror. It was a team effort that saved the day.I would always spend as much time as i could to visit my sister. Like after the girls and Twi defeated Sunny I elected to stay with her with my knowledge of portal harmonics I could open the portal at any time. I stayed with Sunny for a few weeks just make sure she was doing ok and for the fact i still had reservations about trusting humans.It with more interactions with my friends doubles I learned to start to trust them even made friends with them.

Can't be whole

Being a transwoman one would think I would be able to get SRS and get rid of the stupid thing between my legs I guess that not ever going to happen as I'll forever be stuck with it because of the blood thinner I'm on.

Out of a mess

Just had another dream of me getting my brother out of another mess he got himself into also while that was going on a whole mess was happening back home. I missed out on helping my friends and family when they could have needed my help. I know I left some things behind if or when they needed me. It just seems that I'm always bailing out my brother . It would seem I'm here to get him out of trouble here.

In the dream my brother was trying to woo this queen only thing was she was playing him for a fool and had gotten her people into a lot of trouble. Her neighbor to the north was invading and she had some how opened rift into the fire realm. So it seems I made her crystal shield and sealed off the rift. Got my bro out of another mess in the process sent a fire elemental back home. This may just be dream or a memory though i would still get him out of any mess he gets into. I mean who would get him out of the meses he gets himself into. The dude has a strong heart and he follows that. Kind of leads me here to this world someone had to watch his back.

Homeward

Everytime I get the chance to go home and then get denied it just makes me lose hope about ever seeing home. Every time I have an out of body I'm always ask anyone who listen not to send me back here. There have been time friends from home have tried to bring me home via portal through the dream realm as a target vector which has worked and they won't give even though I already have. Just knowing how close I was to getting home really hits home. I'm severely depressed because of it. Its not i could go to some therapist and say oh hey I come from a different reality and I'm here having human experience all the while watching over my brother who actaully came here to help humans. While we both have learned that humanity won't listen and any message brought will fall on deaf ears. Sure some will listen but they don't represent the majority.They are an extreme minority. This abit of a rant and I do apologize for it.

Homesick

I've come to realize that the stupid cartoon is just that a method of entertainment for the masses even if its crude and insult the very memory of them. The more I read the stories and watch the more homesick I get. All I want is to go home. I know this will be a long time coming and I won't see my home for many years.

Wings

Just been getting an overwhelming feeling of wanting to fly and use my wings. Sometimes it feel like just want really scream as I really want to fly. To be free. Whenever i felt stress i would go out for a flight over the Everfree as the wind currents there were unpredictable. I just felt so alive and i could feel the cool wind as it passed over my wings. Here the closest thing i can get to that kind freedom is driving my car and yet its still not the same thing.

failure of friendship

Coming here has shown me what a failure I am at being a friend to all those I left behind both here and there. Sometimes i just don't know what to do or do as some people here have stolen from me many times over. Some I thought were friends but turns out I was gullible.The only family I have here is my brother Em. As for friends that spirit visit I don't know if its them or someone pretending to be them. Ijust have to go with what feels right. There are times i just want to cry so much.Suffer in silence.

Dreams

Lately I've been feeling like a waste of space.Some dreams have let me see my twin sister.

Memories

The more I remember the more it hurts and the more longing for home for friends and family I left behind. Its harder going forward as it always has.

New memories

While I was opening gifts at my mom's place i remembered something from home. Rares gave me a gift of a white dress with blue sapphires and and diamonds. Also remembered a crystal I gave Rares for her birthday a crystal that could arrange her mane in any way she wanted. It was one of many inventions I made.