my one chance and I blew it

Well i was sitting on a rock just getting ready to go for a walk when this gentleman showed up and offered to show me something cool. I suppose some red flags would have gone up. Because i have a bad back i would have to rest every so often. The guy was very polite and accommodating would stop and we talk mostly him asking me questions and well i told him my complete life story. During that point i had already accepted what i am. He wore a tshirt and red shorts. I can even remember his face to some extent he had a full beard and it was black. In hind sight the woods were deathly silent too. When had reached a point where we were going down hill there was a small streaming running along our path. He was jumping over the tiny stream and I followed suit when i slipped and fell. He instantly asked if i was ok. I told him I was. as we continued on I saw a tattoo on the back of his leg ofr me i remembered it as fae tattoo and asked him if he was fae in which he responded,"Maybe I am ,maybe i'm not." It was at this point I was struck so much pain from my back because of all the energy. Again he showed concern and I told him I wasn't going to make it. He said that he was going forward and I said I hope he has an awesome day. Wished him well and started the long trek back to my car. Before I could leave the trial a fairy popped out of no where in my face and my stupid retarded body swatted him away. Stupid body involuntary response to something flying up in your face. When I look back on it the fae had his arms out stretch as if to say stop or don't go. When i finally realized what had happened i tried to go back to find that portal home. Just goes to how much of a fuck up i am. My one chance of going home and I blew it.